Sign in to follow this  
Countrymom9

I need encouragement and suggestions...(long, like all my posts)

Recommended Posts

Countrymom9

I have not posted on the LC forum in a long time, but here goes!

 

Ds16's achievement test scores plunged this year and that, along with what I perceived as a general decline in his schoolwork, led me to take him to a well-recommended ed psych for an assessment. I wanted one partly to see how to help him and partly for certification purposes so he can get accommodations for testing, classes, etc.

 

The ed psych was very good and even ds liked her. She spent six hours (split up) testing him, and I believe the eval is the most thorough I've seen. Nutshell dx: dyslexia, processing speed disorder, possible ADHD. I've seen all three and in fact have considered ADHD meds, except he seems to cope with it for the most part. Her recommendations for remediation just sound like so much...work. And I know he will probably resist them. She wants to see him and give them to him in more teen-palatable form (she has teens herself). I hope it helps. He is going to need to own this process, at this age. I'm willing to help him but only if he's on board.

 

I'm just so discouraged. I knew he was dyslexic; we remediated with Barton Phonics for years and it worked really well. He just has hit a wall again in reading and needs some help to move further. He can read the words okay and I knew that, but he's stuck at about a 9.4 grade level because he does not read with enough automaticity to comprehend as he should. His math processing is similar because he needs to do more problems than most people in each new area to increase his fluency and therefore his processing speed. I'm asking myself why I didn't just use Rod and Staff math with all its overkill drill. It would have been what he needed....but he was always good in math till he hit algebra. Hindsight is so 20-20.

 

I love this kid. Dearly. I just need to get over the hump so I can help him help himself. I also need some ideas and some ways to help him own it without making him feel like a dummy.  Prayer? Ideas? Bring it on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dcubed

I don't have ideas but can offer support.  My dd16 is rather like your son in some things.  She has slow processing speed, ADHD, several anxiety diagnoses, a sequencing problem and a math disability (reading is fine, 99+ percentile in vocab).  But that math problem has been all along, so I'm not sure she will even pass algebra 1 in high school.

 

She also wants to do zero, nada, zilch extra work.  She did well with homeschooling (except math) until we moved back from China and it all fell apart.  Spectacularly.  She only finished half of Core 100.  She went to a tiny private school for special needs last year but they didn't push her at all academically, so no gains.  It was good for her emotionally and socially, but...  She's going to another special needs school this fall that I think will challenge her more.  I hope she rises to the challenge and actually works hard.  Oy.  

 

I'll pray for you and your ds!  That he will do the extra work.  That you will know how to help him in the best manner.  (((hugs)))

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Countrymom9

I don't have ideas but can offer support.  My dd16 is rather like your son in some things.  She has slow processing speed, ADHD, several anxiety diagnoses, a sequencing problem and a math disability (reading is fine, 99+ percentile in vocab).  But that math problem has been all along, so I'm not sure she will even pass algebra 1 in high school.

 

She also wants to do zero, nada, zilch extra work.  She did well with homeschooling (except math) until we moved back from China and it all fell apart.  Spectacularly.  She only finished half of Core 100.  She went to a tiny private school for special needs last year but they didn't push her at all academically, so no gains.  It was good for her emotionally and socially, but...  She's going to another special needs school this fall that I think will challenge her more.  I hope she rises to the challenge and actually works hard.  Oy.  

 

I'll pray for you and your ds!  That he will do the extra work.  That you will know how to help him in the best manner.  (((hugs)))

 

 

Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. 

 

Your dd16 sounds like my dd20 as far as issues go. Dd20's processing speed makes ds16's look fast, in addition to her other issues, which mirror your dd16's. I dropped the ball with her bc of focusing on ds21's much more major problems. When I did have her needs assessed, though, I did not feel like the assessment was thorough enough. How I wish I had found this ed psych then! The one I used got so focused on the ADHD and anxiety that she made them the cause of all other problems, which I don't believe to have been the case. Dd20 is now muddling slowly through cc, working hard, which she never did for me. She is working hard because she realizes now that I was right...she's going to have to work at it. She is very determined to "get there." She still has anxiety issues which she fuels with adrenalin-producing movies......I'm trying to get her to work on the anxiety.

 

It's so much easier for kids to take the easy road and just figure they'll get along okay without a "real job". Ds16 has lots of ambition and says he's willing to work hard to get where he wants to go....but what I see him doing is trying to get done with his schoolwork ASAP so he can watch Youtube and play Cash of Clans. That is not going to get him where he wants to go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dcubed

Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. 

 

Your dd16 sounds like my dd20 as far as issues go. Dd20's processing speed makes ds16's look fast, in addition to her other issues, which mirror your dd16's. I dropped the ball with her bc of focusing on ds21's much more major problems. When I did have her needs assessed, though, I did not feel like the assessment was thorough enough. How I wish I had found this ed psych then! The one I used got so focused on the ADHD and anxiety that she made them the cause of all other problems, which I don't believe to have been the case. Dd20 is now muddling slowly through cc, working hard, which she never did for me. She is working hard because she realizes now that I was right...she's going to have to work at it. She is very determined to "get there." She still has anxiety issues which she fuels with adrenalin-producing movies......I'm trying to get her to work on the anxiety.

 

It's so much easier for kids to take the easy road and just figure they'll get along okay without a "real job". Ds16 has lots of ambition and says he's willing to work hard to get where he wants to go....but what I see him doing is trying to get done with his schoolwork ASAP so he can watch Youtube and play Cash of Clans. That is not going to get him where he wants to go.

 

I'm hoping that working for someone else (teachers) will help.  This school is also set up for minor special needs (ADHD, LDs, etc) so that should help.  We've had dd16 evaluated twice, once to confirm my suspicions about the math LD when she was about 12 and in the spring to apply for this school.  That included a battery of academic assessments and an IQ test.  The first time also included a speech pathologist test.  All three saw her sequencing issue and her IQ was rated high (139).  But this time her IQ was only average - the test had changed so that her weaknesses were more tested and her strengths less.  Her processing speed is average but she is very bright in verbal areas so she is used to getting things quickly and sees her slower speed in challenge areas, making her frustrated.

 

If she can learn to work hard through challenges, that will be a success skill for the rest of her life. Oh, she does SAY she'll work hard, but I gave her a set of Keys to Algebra workbooks to go through over the summer and she petered out quite fast. (Keys to .. worked the best for her in homeschooling).  Even with me offering to sit with her so she doesn't do pages of exercises wrong - extremely frustrating for both of us.  But her brain rewrites instructions so that the rules seem very arbitrary to her.  She doesn't believe me when I say that the way she remembers is wrong, so she says math constantly changes the rules. And this can be within 24 hours...

 

Dd16 has been seeing the same CBT therapist for anxiety since she was 9.  But, man, just exactly what the issue(s) are is like whack-a-mole.  Once we get one thing under control, another new one pops up.  I'm hoping this school will address her math issues and find a way for her to move forward.  I was unable to do that in homeschool - she's been stuck at about 4th grade since 4th grade.  

 

Your ds and both my dds would happily spend hours watching YouTube.  And Snapchat, Tumbler...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this