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Rheimi

Anyone have a child with ODD?

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Rheimi

I have 5 children and I home schooled until my oldest three were in grades 4, 3 and 1. I had a preschooler and toddler at the time and couldn't manage the toddler and school. That toddler is now 11 and has been struggling with behaviour in school since the very beginning. He is diagnosed with severe ADHD and ODD and suspected neurodevelopment disorders-NOS (we need further testing for this). He has attended school part time for three years and last year he regressed. He is violent at school and suspended regularly so this year I decided to quit my job and keep him home. He is danger to his classmates and has even attacked staff members. When he is in control he is a wonderful boy and he hates that he behaves so badly. He desperately wants to do better and fit in. He is smart but extremely stubborn. I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there who is successfully homeschooling a child like mine? I was sad when I decided to quit several years ago but now I want to be at work. I know this will the best for my son but wonder if I can handle it. How do you cope with the toughest days? What are your supports?

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Willow

Yes! I've always homeschooled ours but am very familiar and have ideas that could help. Can we communicate outside the forum? I'm not too familiar with how to send you my email or phone number without brocasting it.

Ari

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Bendxap
2 minutes ago, Willow said:

Yes! I've always homeschooled ours but am very familiar and have ideas that could help. Can we communicate outside the forum? I'm not too familiar with how to send you my email or phone number without brocasting it.

Ari

Rheimi, i'm so sorry to hear about your son's struggles. I don't have anything to offer other than to help you and Ari communicate privately on the forums.

If you go to the top of your screen, you'll see a little envelope. Click on that and it'll take you to private messages where just the two of you can chat (or add others, if need be). 

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Rheimi

Thank you both.

Ari, I've sent you a private message.

 

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victorychick

I have a 9yo who deals with anger issues, ADHD and is on the autism spectrum. I have often wondered if he would be diagnosed with ODD if he were checked again now. His autism diagnosis was made when he was 3yo. Honestly, for him, I have abandoned Sonlight and started using BJU online. Only because I am not responsible for teaching him and giving him assignments, the prerecorded, online teacher is “the bad guy”. I get to do the fun stuff like projects with him and he enjoys those things. It has helped tremendously. Also, I had read somewhere that having small animals in a classroom helps children concentrate, so I brought two cats home and he really took to one of them in particular and it is now his assistance cat. What does that look like? Pretty much when he starts “winding up” and getting out of control, I tell him to go and get Daisy the cat and she sits in his lap or on the table next to him and it is a remarkable help. He also has a special backpack that she goes in on the road and it keeps him calm at church or if we are traveling. Another thing that we have done that has been a huge help is giving him breaks, outside, after each subject. His classes take about 20 to 30 minutes and then he gets a 10 minute break outside. He is responsible to ask for those and some days he takes a break after each subject, some days he takes no breaks but I never say “no” if he request them. My son feels remorse when he acts badly as well, but he agitates everyone else, so I don’t have my kids all working on school in the same place. Instead they work in different areas and I keep my 9yo away from the others. It helps him and them. Be encouraged. You have made a good choice and understand that what works for my son may not work for yours, but maybe something I said will help. It seems to be working so far this school year! If you need anything else just message me or reply back.

 Rhonda Hart

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Countrymom9

Rhonda,

I wish I had done as well as you are doing with my ds, who was diagnosed with a smorgasbord of stuff including Asperger's and FAE. ODD was mentioned as well. As he got older they began to throw in personality disorder.

We sent him to a therapeutic boarding school due to violence. He changed for the better, but unfortunately he is not doing very well as an adult. He has stayed out of jail and other major trouble, and earns a living, but he seems less and less stable right now. He's 23.

Rheimi, I have no suggestions for you at all, but will pray.

Edited by Countrymom9
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Rheimi
On 9/14/2018 at 4:41 PM, victorychick said:

I have a 9yo who deals with anger issues, ADHD and is on the autism spectrum. I have often wondered if he would be diagnosed with ODD if he were checked again now. His autism diagnosis was made when he was 3yo. Honestly, for him, I have abandoned Sonlight and started using BJU online. Only because I am not responsible for teaching him and giving him assignments, the prerecorded, online teacher is “the bad guy”. I get to do the fun stuff like projects with him and he enjoys those things. It has helped tremendously. Also, I had read somewhere that having small animals in a classroom helps children concentrate, so I brought two cats home and he really took to one of them in particular and it is now his assistance cat. What does that look like? Pretty much when he starts “winding up” and getting out of control, I tell him to go and get Daisy the cat and she sits in his lap or on the table next to him and it is a remarkable help. He also has a special backpack that she goes in on the road and it keeps him calm at church or if we are traveling. Another thing that we have done that has been a huge help is giving him breaks, outside, after each subject. His classes take about 20 to 30 minutes and then he gets a 10 minute break outside. He is responsible to ask for those and some days he takes a break after each subject, some days he takes no breaks but I never say “no” if he request them. My son feels remorse when he acts badly as well, but he agitates everyone else, so I don’t have my kids all working on school in the same place. Instead they work in different areas and I keep my 9yo away from the others. It helps him and them. Be encouraged. You have made a good choice and understand that what works for my son may not work for yours, but maybe something I said will help. It seems to be working so far this school year! If you need anything else just message me or reply back.

 Rhonda Hart

Thank you. I did try and enroll him in online school but they can't accept him because of the way he is coded in the school system. The only way around that is to have another psych evaluation and recode him. I do believe the code is accurate though and changing it could affect future resources. So fully parent directed homeschooling is my only option right now. We are trying to sell our house and will move to a city if we do (right now we live in a small town 2 hours away from resources) and there will be much more options there for him. 

We were recently approved for funding to hire a community support aid for him! I am so happy with this. A wonderful man in our church has agreed to take the job. That will give me a bit of a break. We also got funding for respite care, childcare, a behaviour consultant and therapy. They are even paying us for the 5 hour drive to see his therapist. I am so glad for this support. It has been a huge financial strain on us to get him the help he needs. 

 

@Countrymom9, thank you for your prayers. I am sure you did everything you could for your son. These mental health problems are so complex and not easily understood even by professionals in the field. I'm glad your son is working and staying out of trouble with the law. That in it self sounds like a huge success to me!

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Countrymom9
20 hours ago, Rheimi said:

We were recently approved for funding to hire a community support aid for him! I am so happy with this. A wonderful man in our church has agreed to take the job. That will give me a bit of a break. We also got funding for respite care, childcare, a behaviour consultant and therapy. They are even paying us for the 5 hour drive to see his therapist. I am so glad for this support. It has been a huge financial strain on us to get him the help he needs. 

That's wonderful! I have a friend with a very lively seven-year-old with Down's who gets similar support and for her it's a huge blessing that allows her to hs him and her two older dc as well. It would be very hard for her to keep him safe...he's a lovely, mischievous wanderer....and devote any energy at all to the others.

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